Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Miracle of Ordinary Days - Part 3

The first indication of any problem occurred around my 20th week.  My ultrasounds in the office had indicated that there might be some issues with growth but because the equipment was older, Dr. Fine said it was something we could continue to watch.  He also ordered extra testing for my scheduled 20 week ultrasound where very detailed measurements would be taken on all structures in the body.  This week is much anticipated by all curious parents because it is usually the time that the sex of the baby is revealed. We were very excited to find out what we were having. 

I thought I was having a boy.  I learned quickly that I have no motherly instinct in this regard.  I have been wrong with every one of my children.  I knew I wouldn't be disappointed either way but it was fun to guess.  It was an exciting day.  At the ultrasound that day the measurements that were taken were not up to what they should have been for gestational age.  The ultrasound tech was friendly and didn't seem too concerned.  She told us that they might decide to change my due date to a later date because I must have calculated my due date wrong.  I was due April 22nd, 2003. 

I knew that this was not the case.  I knew the date of my last period and I also knew that the number of ultrasounds that had been done had showed that she was tracking at the correct gestational age early on.  Something had changed.  I learned to watch the ultrasound tech's face.  They have a difficult job that requires a lot of technical work.  They are not supposed to talk a lot about the results as they are coming up on the screen.  They can tell you what they see as far as body parts, etc. but are not supposed to comment on much else.  I made it a habit to watch the face of our ultrasound techs almost as much as I watched the screen.  I could tell by the studied way that our tech worked that she was being very careful with the measurements.   I didn't know at the time what this meant for our baby but I remember it didn't put my mind at ease. 

The appointment continued and we found out that we were having a baby girl!  We had decided beforehand what name to give our first child if it was a boy and if it was a girl and Baby Abby was the name that both of us loved.  My requirement for all of our names was that we give them good names with good nicknames.  I had the experience of growing up as Jenny, not Jennifer and having to always explain that it was not a nickname but actually on my birth certificate.  That was hard for a little shy girl that couldn't speak without blushing.  I love my name and it's origins.  I was named after two of my parent's aunts and wouldn't be a Jennifer even if you paid me good money because of that.  But I wanted to give our kids as many options as possible for the future in case they wanted to lengthen the name out at some point.  Abigail Lynne Martin was the name we chose.  We loved the names Abigail and Abby from the start.  Lynne is my middle name.  It seemed to fit her well, though we hadn't seen her face.  We had seen her profile and her skull.  It was nice to have something to call her when she popped up on the screen.  We were to have the opportunity to see her often on screen.

I met with Dr. Fine a few days later to discuss the findings on the ultrasound.  He told me that he would be monitoring me even more closely.  He told me that what they had found on the ultrasound concerned him.  He explained that we had an excellent baseline of measurements throughout the pregnancy and that there was no mistake in my due date.  Abby's growth had slowed down which indicated that she was not getting the nutrients she needed.  He told me that he would schedule an appointment with a perinatologist, a doctor specializing in high risk pregnancies.  There was nothing to indicate exactly what the problem was and he felt that she would be the best person in Spokane to help us.  She was so busy that I had to wait for three weeks to get an appointment.  My situation wasn't dire and there was still measurable growth so Dr. Fine felt it would be okay to wait.   

We scheduled weekly visits to his office so that he could do ultrasounds to monitor growth.  I researched all I could about what he had told me.  I learned a lot about IUGR (Inter-Uterine Growth Retardation) which was most likely what was going on.  He had been searching for an underlying cause for my condition but had not found anything that could indicate the problem.  It was a little frustrating not to know what was causing it and I wondered what it would all mean for both of us.  He put me on partial bed rest that day.  I wasn't allowed to do anything strenuous. 

Dr. Fine told me that if they could not find a way to fix the problem Abby might need to be born early.  He thought that we could wait until she was 34 to 35 weeks. This was a shock but it needed to be said.  Any premature birth is a cause for great concern.  I was filled with dread.  I still had faith but a pit in my stomach opened that was hard to ignore.  We waited rather impatiently for Christmas to pass so that our appointment with the specialist would arrive.  We were surrounded by people that loved us that holiday and it was comforting to have them with us but we worried for our baby and it was the all-consuming thought of those many days.

My appointment with Dr. Cheri Johnson was informative but also scary.  I went into see her on New Year's Eve 2002.  We met with a delightful ultrasound tech who showed us the information that she was looking for.  The main part of the ultrasound focused on the blood flow between Abby and I.  Dr. Johnson told us that it was likely that Abby would need to be born earlier than we had previously thought.  Likely within the next few weeks.  This was very shocking to us. I was a few days shy of 25 weeks gestation, a little more than halfway through the pregnancy.   We knew that she had an estimated weight of only 15 ounces not quite a full pound.  Giving birth so early to a baby so small seemed like an impossibility. 

Over the weeks between my 20 week ultrasound and the appointment that day, Abby's growth had slowed dramatically.  She was almost a month behind where she should have been.  They were still not sure of the cause of the problem or the reasons why it was taking place.  We only knew it was happening.  Both she and Dr. Fine had a theory that it was possible that I had a Protein S deficiency.  This is a protein in the blood that acts as an anticoagulant, it stops the blood from clotting.  Their belief was that this deficiency was causing clots to form in the blood vessels between Abby and me.  The only treatment that was available at that time was for me to give myself shots of blood thinner in the hope that we would be able to slow down the progress of the clotting to give Abby the best chance of survival.  I also had low amniotic fluid levels that could indicate further trouble in store for Abby. 
Dr. Johnson admitted me to the hospital that day to receive my first round of steroid shots to speed up the growth of Abby's lungs.  I would also be trained how to give myself shots in my abdomen.  This was not fun but other than that I felt fine.  They also filled me full of fluid to see if they could raise my level of amniotic fluid.  It was a bit surprising to be admitted to the hospital because despite breaking my feet four times I had never spent the night in the hospital except when I was born.  We spent the last night of 2002 in a hospital room at Deaconess Medical Center in Spokane.  There were tears and prayers said and blessings given and then we decided we were exhausted.  We fell asleep, me in my hospital and Aaron close by on the sofa.  I remember waking up to the reflection of the fireworks set off to ring in the New Year on the windows across the street from our room and murmuring Happy New Year to Aaron as I drifted back to sleep.  There was no time to wonder what the new year would bring.



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