The next few months were good. We were busy with our new life together, learning how to be married. It was a mostly fun but sometimes difficult process. I think anyone who is married can tell you that marriage takes work, it also takes love and most importantly commitment. We had all of those elements and am happy to say we still do. We were both working and going to school full-time. One of the things I admire most about Aaron is his ability to accomplish his goals. When he decides something needs to get done, he puts all of his time and energy into it. He was determined to finish college in 2 and a quarter years. He had the time and the ability to do it and he worked hard in his classes. We finished for the school year.
In June, I was able to go to Girl's Camp, a camp that our church puts on every year for the girls 12-18. I was partnered with an amazing lady. We had quite a long time to talk. She told me stories about her family and about herself. She talked about having children out of wedlock and then contracting a venereal disease that progressed so far that she had to have a hysterectomy at just 25. She cautioned the girls that we taught about taking such things too lightly. The faith she expressed in the process of becoming a parent helped me immensely. It is amazing to me the way someone else's experiences can teach us so much about ourselves.
One of the principles I live my life by is to apply other's experiences to my own life so that I can learn and grow without experiencing those challenges myself. I knew that if she could go through such great trials and the loss of so much so young that I could endure whatever came next. Just hearing the struggles she went through and the way that her life changed after she found a relationship with God reminded me what I wanted to do with my life. I knew that I wanted to be a mother. I felt the need for that so strongly. Too many people in the world take being a parent for granted. They don't seem to understand how fragile and fleeting the life of a child is, how short and precious the time flies. They go through their days not realizing the miracle and blessing that resides in their own home and let days go by without expressing love and thankfulness for the privilege of being a parent. I realized that week that I was ready to try again. I felt the peace that comes with making a decision that is right. It was the underlying peace that God was with us, whatever trials came our way.
I learned I was pregnant sometime in August. I was worried about the pregnancy for obvious reasons. I tend to worry too much anyway. As anyone could tell you in my family, I come by it honestly. I was really happy to be pregnant but I watched for signs of miscarriage every day. I knew that the farther along I was the lower the risk would be. I found a doctor that I trusted very quickly. On a recommendation from a friend I heard about a group of doctors not far from where I lived. She recommended one of the doctors but his schedule was very full. I decided to see another doctor within the same practice, Dr. Kurt Fine.
I was so happy with my choice. The decision would prove invaluable as the months progressed. The care that he gave me and his diligence with my case still amazes me. I know that some people are called to be certain things in life. I believe Dr. Fine's calling in life is being a doctor. The way that he cares for his patients is a testament to it. I'll always be grateful that he was my doctor through those trying times. It's amazing the level of comfort that it can bring. I know sometimes we are led to find the right person at the right time and Dr. Fine was definitely that for me.
The early tests indicated that everything was great. The baby was growing on schedule. Dr. Fine did a lot of things to help me stay at ease. He tested my blood and gave me ultrasounds often in the first few weeks of pregnancy. For most ladies these are happy visits but for me they were just anxiety causing. It was comforting to see and hear the heartbeat of my baby. He also took measurements and things were right on track early on.
I was scheduled to return to school in September and plans continued so that Aaron and I would go back together. I felt the need to quit my job at the hospital so that I could reduce my responsibilities. Aaron was working and we had sufficient money from grants and loans to keep us afloat. I felt like growing the baby and finishing school would be wise and Aaron supported that.
It surprised me one day when Aaron came home from work one day and said he wanted to talk about school. He told me that he felt strongly that I shouldn't return. He gave me his reasons and at first I was a little alarmed and kind of defensive. I didn't feel there was a need for me to leave school. I was already slowing down by quitting my job and I felt like I could certainly finish some classes while pregnant. He told me it was my decision but that he felt certain that it was the right thing.
I have always been independently minded and tend to get defensive when someone wants to tell me what I can and can't do and I don't like anyone telling me what to do. I knew that he had good intentions but I had a hard time hearing it. I thought long and hard about it. My inclination was to go to school. I wanted to finish my degree but as I thought about it and finally prayed about it, I realized that he was right. We were led to that decision by a loving God who saw what was coming our way. I am glad that we listened.
There were few indications of any problems in those first few weeks. I had successfully completed the first trimester of pregnancy, the usual danger zone for miscarriage and I felt good about things. All things pointed to a healthy pregnancy. I spent my days at home. It was a huge change from full-time student and worker status. It felt strange to not have anything to do but keep up with the household chores. I watched a lot of TV and read books. I kept my mind occupied. I went to my doctors appointments and all was right with my little world.
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