Friday, February 13, 2015

The Miracle of Ordinary Days - Part 21

The day of my appointment came.  It happened to land on Abigail's birthday.  I was anxious to know what the situation was with the baby.  The doctor took me back to do an ultrasound.  She was excited for me. As she was doing the ultrasound I heard her excitement fade.  She looked and looked at the scan but said she could not see what she was looking for.  She said if there was anything in there it was not eight weeks along.  She sounded sad.  She said her equipment wasn't as good at the one at the ultrasound place so she gave me a slip to head over there. When I got there it was too full to be seen that day so I made an appointment for the next day. I felt a bit numb as I walked to the car.  I couldn't speak so I didn't even call Aaron. I just kind of felt dull.  It was happening again.
That night was Abby's birthday.  I had planned to take her shopping but after the news the doctor had given me I did not feel like doing anything.  When Aaron came home I explained what happened and he told me he'd take care of Abby.  He went and bought dinner for us and took her shopping.  I laid in bed until they got home and then did my best to put on a brave face for my girl.
In the morning I went into the ultrasound.  The tech was the same one that had not found a heartbeat or growth on the baby earlier that year.  I was just prepared to hear the same thing again.  I had said my prayers that morning and put it in God's hands.  I was ready. Resigned.
The tech started the scan and the first thing she said was, "So the heartbeat is 173 beats per minute."
I must have looked very shocked because the tech looked confused.  "Heartbeat?  Are you serious?" I don't think I've ever felt that many emotions at once. Relief, shock, amazement, love, were just a few.  My whole body shook as I burst into tears. Tears streamed as she assured me that there was a heartbeat.  She asked me if I was okay. So I repeated what the doctor had told me the day before.  She asked who my doctor was and I told her.  She rolled her eyes and commented that it sounded like someone needed some more practice on the ultrasound machine.  I was so relieved.  I watched the heartbeat and listened to it. I hadn't been wrong!  I was very much still pregnant!  I couldn't believe it. I left the office feeling much better. Hooray!  I was 8 weeks pregnant!  And the baby was still there, with a beating heart! 
When I got to the car I called Aaron.  I started with the fact that we had a baby in there!  And we rejoiced together.  Immediately after that he wondered how the doctor had missed that.  I told him I didn't know how I would keep going to her.  She just wasn't very skilled.  We had a couple of other doctors in that practice as well.  It was cheaper for us to use the doctors at Lourdes because they were in the system. I had interactions with another of the doctors that made me think working with him would not be enjoyable.  Then as I was waiting in the ultrasound waiting room that morning I heard one of the other doctors employees talking to another lady about something the other doctor had said about her weight and the weight of others in the office.  None of those things made me think that I'd like to work with either of my other choices. For that day anyway we decided we'd look into someone else to work with.
Two more weeks went by and I didn't want to visit the same doctor again.  My sister Kim invited me to her house and we were talking.  I had not told anyone yet and didn't want to share it with her either.  But as we were talking the subject of having more children came up and she asked me directly. "Are you going to have any more kids?" I kind of stammered through my answer.  I didn't want to lie of course so I said, "Yes."  She looked at me in a knowing way and asked, Are you pregnant? I kind of nodded and told her that I was ten weeks along.  She got excited and I was excited too.  I told her that we weren't telling anyone so she agreed to keep it under wraps.
I told her the story of my doctor and the ultrasound and looked alarmed.  She know my history and knows that that was not going to work.  She urged me to find another doctor.  She insisted I needed a high risk doctor who could handle my complications and case.  I agreed with her.  She told me about Dr. Bahnmiller.  Many of her friends had really liked him.  We looked him up to check if he was covered by my insurance and found that he was.
It didn't take long for Aaron to see that it was important that I see another doctor.  I can't imagine how nervous I would have been if I had stayed with the other doctor.  I made an appointment with Dr. Bahnmiller and immediately felt at ease.  He was not Dr. Fine, who I had always loved and trusted but he was very good.  He was always kind, knowledgeable and helpful.  His staff was awesome, too. I knew it was the right fit.
From then on I went to see Dr. Bahnmiller. One of my first appointments around 12 weeks he told me about some blood tests.  Because I was of advanced maternal age it was recommended that we test the baby for down syndrome and other genetic problems.  I knew that it would not change how I felt about the baby but I've always thought that knowing was better than not knowing so that I have time to prepare. He also told me that one of the tests they could run would have the baby's DNA and of course the DNA would tell us the sex of the baby. Since it was five years since I'd been pregnant with Nathan this was new technology to me.  And it was really exciting!
Now I have to say that I would have been happy with another boy if that is what had come to us.  But there were so many things that made me want to have another girl.  Abby had always wanted a sister.  Having my own sisters I know how amazing that is and I wanted that for her.  There was also all of those dreams and promptings that told us we had a girl out there that was supposed to be a part of our family. We waited to find out what the sex of our baby would be.
We didn't have to wait too long.  On Tyler's birthday, March 18th I had a doctors appointment early in the morning.  They didn't have any test results back yet but told me that they would call when they came in.  I talked to Aaron telling him that I had not found out yet.  Around four oclock that afternoon I got a call from the office.
I was very anxious to hear.  The nurse asked me if I wanted to know and I said yes of course.  She said, are you ready?  And I was dying.  Then she said,  Congratulations, it's a girl!  I think I squealed, and cried out at the same time.  I knelt down by the bed.  I shook as I said, "Are you kidding?" then asked, "are you sure?" She said, yes!  I said "Thank you so much!" We both hung up and I knelt beside my bed as tears flowed and thanked my Heavenly Father for this great blessing.  It was one of those moments that I don't have words for.  There have been so many moments during pregnancy when I have felt very low, almost to the point of despair.  But this moment was as high a moment as I had ever felt. It was such a beautiful moment.
Then I realized that I had a chance to tell Aaron what we were having.  That had never happened before!  He had always been there at the ultrasound when we found out!  So how exciting!  I quickly got things together to run to the store.  It was Tyler's birthday so I had other things to get.  But I was also concocting a surprise for Aaron and the family.  I went to Walmart and bought a black bag with white tissue paper.  I also bought a newborn outfit that was pink and a pink card.  I wrote a note to Aaron that said, "Dear Daddy, You were right! Love, Camille Elizabeth Martin"

It was a fun night with Kim and her kiddos and Emily.  Emily was kind enough to help me with the surprise.  We had cake and ice cream and then right before they had to leave I got out the present.  I had told Ty earlier that the present was actually for Dad and he was understanding.  (We got him something else earlier and he had a birthday party) Aaron was very surprised when I handed it to him.  I think I did well.

This video captured the moment.  Thank you to Emily for taking it for us!

Our baby girl was on the way!  All of our dreams were coming true!  And it was a very, very sweet moment that I will always remember.  Hooray for Camille, Cami, Cammers!


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