Thursday, February 12, 2015

The Miracle of Ordinary Days - Part 19

Those of you that have read this blog in the past will remember that our journey to and through mother and fatherhood has not always be easy.  So some of you might be curious to know how, why and when we decided that we would add just one more treasured child to the Martin Family.
This is the story of Camille Elizabeth Martin.

After the birth of Nathan, my husband and I decided that we would put off discussing more children for a while.  Our lives were very busy.  And a bit stressful.  Nathan was a dreamy little baby.  Our older children loved him and we were happy being a family of five.  For quite a few years I just put the idea of giving birth again on my shelf of never gonna happen dreams and enjoyed my family.  The idea of having another baby was a very dear and precious dream but pregnancy was not. I loved my little crew and we had so many great times together as a family of five.

There were some great changes happening, too.  Aaron decided to work on his CPA exam.  Having worked in financial planning for many years he was hoping to expand into someday using his accounting knowledge to help his clients with their accounting needs as well.  A few things happened that put us on a different path and it has been a huge blessing for our family.

Aaron was able to pass all of the levels of the CPA exam on his own.  Anyone that has taken that test can tell you how challenging that is to do.  Aaron decided that in order to provide more for his family he would look for work as a CPA somewhere.  That along with his MBA in Finance opened doors for him that would not have been otherwise and he started working in Healthcare Finance. 

This allowed us to stabilize our income and brought newfound peace to a sometimes difficult earning situation.  It was heavenly for me to know that we had a consistent income that we could count on.  It really helped Aaron as well.  Life improved in many ways.  Aaron's job in Spokane was good.  It was a lot of hours.  I spent my days homeschooling Abby and taking care of the other children while Aaron toiled away for long hours. 

Aaron started looking for a job that would be less hours than the job in Spokane and because Spokane has only a few jobs in healthcare finance we looked in other areas in Washington State.  We didn't tell many people that we were doing this but we traveled to a few interviews and Aaron was offered a good job in Pasco, Washington at Lourdes Medical Center.  We moved to West Pasco, Washington in July 2012. 

After moving to Pasco our life really changed.  Aaron's job was perfect for our family.  Great hours, great benefits, nice co-workers.  It was very nice.  It was during this time that we started to discuss adding a girl to our family. 

I knew that getting pregnant again might be difficult and perhaps dangerous for my health.  So we discussed other options.  Adopting a baby or fostering to adopt were both considered carefully.  We researched both and although there were many children in need of homes, we decided that it was not what we were supposed to do.  I did not feel like it was the right thing for our family.  After quite a few months we decided to find out if I could or should be pregnant again. 

Aaron came to me one day and asked how I felt about having a baby.  At that point it was a scary prospect.  I had been on bedrest with Nathan for a long time and I knew how busy I was at home with my three growing children.  Complications are always expected in my pregnancies.  I was afraid to try again.  Afraid to ask for one more miracle.  But I knew that the only way to know was to ask in prayer if it was something that I should do.  I spent a tear-filled night praying to know what we should do and if we should try again.  I decided that I wanted to know more before I jumped in.

I called my previous doctor and had him send the medical records to a new provider.  I spoke to him at length about our desire to have another baby and like always he was understanding and supportive.  He told me that I knew the risks from my previous pregnancies but with close monitoring he felt that I could carry another child.  This of course was great news to me!  But it was also worrisome.  Now I'd really have to decide.

I went to see a new doctor that had just started at Lourdes.  She was kind but not as experienced as my former doctor.  I told her my history.  She recommended that I not get pregnant again but if I wanted to have another baby she would help me through it. After careful consideration and prayer we decided to try again. Just a month later I found out I was pregnant. It was a bit overwhelming to have it happen that quickly.  I was nervous and anxious about the whole thing.  It felt unlike other times I had been pregnant.  I was constantly worried.  I was not myself. 

Just a few weeks into the pregnancy I found out that the pregnancy had already ended.  Although I had no outward signs the fetus had not grown beyond six or seven weeks.  It was a missed miscarriage.  I would have to have a D&C. We scheduled the D&C for the next week because we were going out of town.  It was sad and very hard.

We traveled to Utah to be with my family as my parents left for their three year mission to Moscow Russia where my dad would serve as a mission president.  It was exciting to know that they would fulfill one of their dreams to serve a mission together but also sad because we would miss them so much.  The night before they went into the MTC, I asked my dad for a priesthood blessing.  There were many things shared with me that I will always remember.  But one of the things I was blessed with was that I would be able to do things that I had never done before.  It was very special, especially since I will not see my dad until he returns in 2016.  It was very comforting that even though I was unsure of the future or if we'd be able to carry another child my father and my Heavenly Father loved me.


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